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Joe Flacco completed four out of ten passes for 34 yards and the Ravens turned the ball over twice. You can’t win playoff games with stats like that especially against the Patriots in Foxboro. But the Ravens did and they did it with a punishing running game and a nasty defense. It was total domination. It’s clear to me that the Patriots are a different team when they’re not cheating.

On the first play from scrimmage, Ray Rice broke loose for an 83-yard touchdown run that set the tone for the game. By the end of the first quarter it was 24-0. The Ravens kept their foot on the Patriots throats and never let up. They played fast and physical on both sides of the ball. The running game was unstoppable with Rice, McGahee and McClain combining for 27 points on 52 attempts. The defense was relentless forcing Tom Brady into four turnovers and the offense capitalized scoring 20 points off those mistakes.

I have to give credit where credit is due; Frank Walker – you played a very solid, physical game. Let’s be frank, Frank – until today’s game, you’ve been paid to do card tricks on the team plane.

Hey Ray, pick a card.

Most importantly Frank and the team played smart, committing only three penalties for 15 yards. It’s good to have Ed Reed back doing what Ed does. And how about Ray Lewis? In his words, “You can’t hurt this! I’m a machine, jerk!” He is a machine. The guy is absolutely phenomenal. Ray led the team with 13 tackles and had a huge sack on Brady.

The Ravens know what lies ahead of them and so do the fans. This is the postseason – one bad game and it’s over. In the words of Apollo Creed, “There is no tomorrow!”

Any fighter wearing this outfit deserves to die in the ring.

Next up, our old team. If the same Ravens show up in Indy it could be a long day for Peyton Manning and the Colts. If not, it could be a long offseason.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

Let’s be honest, the Ravens’ shot at making the playoffs is slowly slipping away from them.    Week after week, penalty after penalty (see Frank Walker) the feeling I get in my stomach isn’t a good one.  I imagine it’s the same feeling the candidates running against Marion Barry had when they slowly saw their shot at being Mayor of D.C. slip away from them – and I’m talking about the election Barry won AFTER he got busted smoking crack.

Guess which hand I have the crack in?

This team should be 9-3.  At worst, 8-4.  But they aren’t.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda.  The Packers beat them up and down.  Even after a terrible start, the Birds pulled within three points and then let the game slip away.  They were out played, out coached and out classed (again, see Frank Walker).
There are a lot of problems with this Ravens team.  With the exception of Derrick Mason, we have average receivers.  We have a young offensive line that plays poorly at crucial times.  A running game that was dominant last season has become one -dimensional.  The D line is aging and our special teams unit is below average.  And let’s not forget that we have the worst cornerbacks in the NFL.  How in the hell did we get three on the field at the same time?
Bottom line? (Thank you Ray Lewis).  We’re still in this – mathematically.   Our chances of making the playoffs aren’t great but they’re better than Tiger Woods’ chances of not having multiple STD’s.

Bitches love them some Tiger!

Next up, Detroit.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.  SO DO I.

44 yards out.  For the win.  In a dome.  Perfect conditions.  Wide left.  I have two words for you.  MATT STOVER.  Now, I don’t want to put ALL the blame on Steve Hauschka because, frankly, Frank Walker deserves MOST of it.  I have faith that Steve Hauschka will make game winning kicks.  But Frank Walker?  Frank Walker sucks!  Plain and simple.  I don’t even know how to be nice about it.  If he were a little kid in a Pop Warner game, I wouldn’t know how to sugar coat it (honesty is a character flaw).  I’d have to tell the kid, “Hey.  I know you’re hurting…and you should be.  You stunk it up out there today.”  Walker should’ve been benched after the Bengals game for his sorry play.  And he should be cut after his “performance” against the Minnesota Vikings.  Frank Walker couldn’t cover a book!  Right now, I could put on a Ravens uniform, in the shape I’m in, and do the same job Frank Walker does.  How do you cause pass interference the way he does and STILL let the guy catch the damn ball??  I’m telling you.  I can do that.  I can hold jerseys and ride a guy’s back like a pack mule.  And I don’t make the money Frank Walker makes.  If you were paying me to make mistakes, like we pay Frank, I’d be rich!

My sources tell me this guy is still available.  Cut Frank Walker, sign this dude and let him do his thang!

*Quick thought: This guy is smiling and having a good time in his adidas.  What’s wrong with the lady in pink?  Look at her mug.  You can’t be happy for him?  I hate haters.

3-3 is not where I’d thought we’d be going into the bye week.  The pass defense is a mess!  Any QB in the league can pass on us.  Kyle Boller would look like Johnny Unitas against this defense.
I’m working on being positive (It’s a new year’s resolution that’s still hanging around) and I have faith in the Birds.  Our offense looks great and I know John Harbaugh, Ray Lewis and Ed Reed will get this thing figured out.  It’s not a sprint.  It’s a marathon.  I just wish Frank Walker would run his ass off of our team.
Next up, the undefeated Broncos.  Stay positive, Ryan…

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.  SO DO I.

Why I Hate The Bengals

Let’s just get to it.  We have to play the Bengals twice a season.   They’re in the AFC North.  Nothing we can do about it.  The NFL set it up.  We go to their place once and they come to our house once.  But it’s not like playing the Stillers or the Browns.  Win or lose it never seems to be eventful.  It’s just something necessary that has to happen.
Playing the Bengals twice a year is like when you were a kid and you had to see that one aunt who you couldn’t stand…twice a year.  You really didn’t want to see her.  It was never eventful.  But you had to.  Your parents set it up.  “She’s family.”  Then they hit you with the sales pitch.  “She has a pool.”  It’s an above ground pool.  And it’s October now.  When we head to her place, it’ll be November.  At that point it’s freezing and there’s enough shit in her pool to kill Lochness.
It’s always the same ol with her.  She never seems to better herself.  Then your parents tell you, “She just bought a new Cadillac!”  And you think, “Ok.  Maybe she’s finally steppin it up.”  When you get to her place, what’s sitting in her gravel driveway?  An 86 Eldorado.  Covered in rust.  New?  My ass.  New to HER!
That aunt is just like the Bengals. Can’t keep a good man – even when she has a bad year and she’s still lucky enough to land one.  And when she gets one?  She doesn’t know how to treat em.  They don’t wanna stay.  They’re never happy.  And most of em have rap sheets a mile long.
The Ravens are gonna handle the Bengals the same way you’d handle your aunt; make short work of em and send em back to Cincy in that 86 Eldorado.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

Since I’m a transplanted Ravens fan living in Los Angeles, there was no way I was missing this weekend’s game.  It was the home opener for the San Diego Chargers and Ray Lewis made sure the birds flew outta there with our second W of the young season.
This is my third Ravens vs. Chargers game in San Diego and each time I’ve headed down to tailgate.  This time was no different.  My crew was in it to win it!  Now, I’ve done my share of tailgating and San Diego…you need to step it up!  Flip flops and sushi??  That’s what you’re bringing to the table? Unacceptable.  Tailgating is all about claiming your spot on the asphalt and throwing down!  I’ve seen people steaming crabs in Baltimore, I’ve seen guys BBQ bison in Buffalo, hell, I’ve even seen a pregnant woman gut a deer in Pittsburgh!  But sushi?  That’s a damn shame.  And I LOVE sushi!  I’m a seafood guy.  I love fast women too…but I’m not bringing one to dinner at my grandma’s house.  Feel me?  What I’m saying is, there’s a time and a place for everything.
Check out some of the shots I got in San Diego.

WHERE’S THE BEEF?
On our fuckin grill. I told you we weren’t messin around. Guess what WASN’T on our menu?

CHEF WHAT?
Not sure what this “chef” was cooking up but I’m sure as hell not eating anything he makes. I overheard him say something about a “secret ingredient” and I gagged. Where’d he wash his hands after he was done?

QUALCRETE STADIUM
This thing reminds me of the Roman Coliseum. Only older and worse.

SWOLLED UP
LT was kickin it with us in the parking lot for a few. This is what his ankle looked like an hour before game time. Had to sit him.

VISION QUEST
I’m overlooking the fact that somewhere, a blind person is bumping into shit because a guy wants to make people laugh in a parking lot. Made me laugh.

TRAVIS TWITT
I can’t believe people still make the conscious decision to wear and maintain their hair like this. I gotta be honest, the whole mullet craze was a little too much. Got old REAL quick. But there was a point. I’m guessing this guy is a little slow on the uptake when it comes to a lot of phases in his life: cars, women, work, child support, the credit card payment for the tickets he just charged. Pretty sure I’m 5 for 5.

ROLL OUT
A cooler you can drive?? I love it! I almost cooler-jacked this fool and took off with his wheels. Seriously. I HAVE to get one of these. I’ll ride it everywhere.

HIDDEN REFRESHMENT
I’ve heard of a pup tent, but a pee tent? This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen at a game! This is proof of evolution! No more long lines for the spot-a-pot. This thing was awesome and I gave it a run for its money. Thanks to the Chargers fans who let me use their tent to relieve myself liquidly. And a special shout out to the poor son of a bitch who had to empty it.

Next up, Cleveland!

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger