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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

Simply put, this was ugly.  From the game to the barking fans, there was nothing pretty about this one.
The Browns name seems to fit now more than ever.  They’re certainly leaving their “mark” all over the NFL this season.  Week by week, city by city, they are stinking it up.  I’ve seen better special-ed football teams.  And the faith I had in Ravens kicker, Steve Hauschka is gone.  Just like the faith I used to have that Whitney Houston would get her shit together.

I’m every woman…on crack

My sources tell me that Hauschka kicked his way off the Ravens last night and most likely out of the NFL.  He missed another easy field goal and had an extra point blocked.  I’m not gonna sit here and pity a kicker but the irony in the NFL is, well, ironic.  Brady Quinn still has his job today after a miserable season.  Derek Anderson still has his job after a miserable season.  And, for some reason, Frank Walker still has his job after a miserable career. It doesn’t work that way for a kicker.  You make em?  You stay.  You miss em?  You’re giving back-alley hand jobs for a nickel.
Hauschka doesn’t have the mental toughness to kick out of this rut.  He’s replacing one of the most accurate kickers in NFL history on a team that was a game away from the Super Bowl last year.  Three points is huge in the NFL.  Hell, three inches is huge in the NFL, which is the same thing I tell my girlfriend when we’re gettin busy but she ain’t buyin it.  Just ask the Patriots what a difference a few inches makes after Belichick’s bonehead call cost them a game.
The one bright spot was Lardarius Webb.  The dude was all over the field on defense and special teams.  Ozzie may have found another gem.  The verdict is still out on Lardarius and the Ravens and the next two weeks are gonna show us who this team really is.
Next up, Indianapolis.  If Peyton Manning doesn’t rip our secondary apart, I have a weird feeling Matt Stover is gonna trot out on the field at the end of the game and attempt to do what he did for us all those years.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
MY UNEDITED BLOG IS BELOW.
THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

I could make 6’3″- 260 float like T-Sizzle if you gave me a six-year, $63 million contract.

It’s back! Finally! Football is here and I couldn’t be more excited about the next 16 games and the 10 lbs I’m gonna put on watching the Baltimore Ravens make a run at this thing again.
Waiting for football to return is like waiting for your STD results. It feels like forever. You think back on “last season” and all of the things your “team” could’ve done differently. Then it’s here and you get good news that there were no “major injuries in training camp” and you’re right back to loving the game.
The Ravens kicked their season off with a W beating the Chiefs 38-24. The offense put up a record 501 yards. Joe Flacco threw the ball all over the place setting career highs with 307 yards and 3 TD’s. I haven’t seen balls flying around Charm City like that since the last time I was at Night Shift. And Flacco had all day to do it. We have a very good, young offensive line that should only get better.
The running game picked up right where it left off, grinding out 198 yards. We seriously have three running backs that could start for any team in the NFL. We’re like Hugh Hefner when it comes to running backs. Why have one sexy one, when you can have three?
The “experts” say we’re thin at receiver. Most of these “experts” are old, fat guys who are thin in the hair and never played the game. They sit behind their computers and their double chins and spout nonsense. And they’re almost always wrong. They’re like weathermen – almost always wrong and never held accountable (no disrespect Bob Turk).
And the D? Please. Nothing to worry about. The D line is sick and deep. Haloti makes the pro bowl this year.
The LB’s look great. Ray is a machine. The dude is just amazing. Even our young LB’s look good. We breed linebackers like Archie Manning breeds quarterbacks. (What’s in that dude’s sperm?? He should bottle it and sell it).
The secondary seemed to have ill communication (get well MCA) at times but when guys can run past you with 4.2 speed, I’m not surprised. That’s like one of us in the middle of a busy intersection trying to figure out which car to tackle. I’m sure Ed Reed had the boys over for dinner and let them know what’s up.
The Special Teams looked like they belonged in Special Ed. Chris Carr looked great – if you were judging him on running sideline to sideline. And a blocked punt for a TD? You can’t give your opponent 6 points in the NFL – unless you were the Ravens playing the Chiefs last week. That’s usually a momentum changer and fortunately for the Ravens it wasn’t. I have faith that Harbaugh gets them in order.
Big game in San Diego this weekend and I’ll be there to support the Birds. Get my full report next week!

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger