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This was the biggest game of the season. I was worried that the Ravens I didn’t want to show up might show up. They showed up. I get the same feeling when I know my paranoid schizophrenic cousin might show up to important family events like weddings, funerals and court. When he’s on his meds, he’s ok. When he’s not, his day usually ends the same way the Ravens ended their season – with an ass-whoopin. The Ravens scored three points, had four turnovers and committed seven penalties for 64 yards. I’ve seen old ladies put up better numbers playing ping pong. When Ed Reed and Ray Rice are fumbling, you know it’s gonna be a long day.

Grandma ain’t scared!

Simply put, the Colts were better than the Ravens Saturday night. They played smarter and faster and took away the running game. What else can you say about Peyton Manning that hasn’t already been said? The guy is phenomenal and he has our number. Peyton says it’s not easy playing against the Ravens but he makes it look like he’s throwing against fans that were just pulled out of their seats.

Does this dude own a mirror?

After the pain fades remember this, Joe Flacco is only a second year quarterback. Getting to the AFC Championship game in his first season and the AFC Divisional game in his second season is incredible. Let’s not forget we have a second year head coach and a second year running back. The offensive line is young and talented and the defense is among the elite every year. A play-making wide receiver here, a shutdown corner there…smells like the makings of a dynasty to me.

Next up…a long off-season. Eddie Reed – don’t retire. Give us a few more years.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

I’ve been sick with the flu for a week now.  Feel like I’ve been nailed to my bed.  Not nailed in it but nailed to it – the difference between the two is HUGE.  Just like the difference between a good Ravens football team and a lousy one.
Sunday, I scraped myself out of bed and made my way to the couch to watch the Birds.  I wasn’t sure if I’d see the dominating team that beat the Broncos or the team that lost to the Bengals earlier in the season.  I got my answer.  The Ravens played like I felt.  Like absolute dog shit.  From week to week, I have no idea which team is going to take the field.  The Ravens are still holding on – and I don’t mean holding on to a shot at the playoffs – I mean holding on to the jerseys of every player that runs right past them.  And this time it wasn’t just the defense.  The offense had their share of problems too.  But the DB’s on this team are some of the worst I’ve ever seen play for the Ravens.
*Note to any NFL quarterback: if you wanna move the ball down the field on Baltimore, just put it in the air.  You probably won’t get a touchdown that way, but you’ll get a slew of pass interference penalties that will set you up nicely inside the red zone.  Then, you’ll get the TD.
After the game, I went out on my balcony for some sun and fresh air and a little bird landed next to me.  We got to talkin.  He told me things were kinda rough in his life right now, not to mention winter is coming. He just lost a close friend in a freak accident. Said he was headed to FLA to chill and relax and think about things for a little while.  Then he flew away.  Just like that.  His friend’s name?  Playoffs.

Run down, run over and run into the ground

This season isn’t totally over but winning the AFC North is. There’s a lot of football left to play and the Ravens can turn things around.  They need to get a grip on themselves and not every player on the opposing team.
Next up, Cleveland.  I know you think this is an easy one.  Guess again…

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD.  SO DO I.

Why I Hate The Bengals

Let’s just get to it.  We have to play the Bengals twice a season.   They’re in the AFC North.  Nothing we can do about it.  The NFL set it up.  We go to their place once and they come to our house once.  But it’s not like playing the Stillers or the Browns.  Win or lose it never seems to be eventful.  It’s just something necessary that has to happen.
Playing the Bengals twice a year is like when you were a kid and you had to see that one aunt who you couldn’t stand…twice a year.  You really didn’t want to see her.  It was never eventful.  But you had to.  Your parents set it up.  “She’s family.”  Then they hit you with the sales pitch.  “She has a pool.”  It’s an above ground pool.  And it’s October now.  When we head to her place, it’ll be November.  At that point it’s freezing and there’s enough shit in her pool to kill Lochness.
It’s always the same ol with her.  She never seems to better herself.  Then your parents tell you, “She just bought a new Cadillac!”  And you think, “Ok.  Maybe she’s finally steppin it up.”  When you get to her place, what’s sitting in her gravel driveway?  An 86 Eldorado.  Covered in rust.  New?  My ass.  New to HER!
That aunt is just like the Bengals. Can’t keep a good man – even when she has a bad year and she’s still lucky enough to land one.  And when she gets one?  She doesn’t know how to treat em.  They don’t wanna stay.  They’re never happy.  And most of em have rap sheets a mile long.
The Ravens are gonna handle the Bengals the same way you’d handle your aunt; make short work of em and send em back to Cincy in that 86 Eldorado.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

Sing it with me!

I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show.
I’m coming out
I want the world to know
Bout Joe Fla-a-co!

Awwww yeah!  Woo!  Feel it??  That’s the good stuff right there!  Now, I know some of you are gonna say, “Take it easy. It was only the Browns.”
Say what you want, but I’m keeping it positive.  The birds were hitting on all cylinders Sunday.  They needed to make a statement – not just to the Browns but to the NFL.  Statement made.
Playing the Browns reminds me of the time in high school when I had to wrestle a kid with no legs.  He had them during weigh-ins but when we hit the mat?  Nubs.
If I won?  Big deal.  I beat a guy with no legs.  If I lost?  I’d never hear the end of it.
I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t…and I’ll be damned if I was gonna lose to a kid with no legs.  I pinned him in seconds!
And that’s exactly what the Ravens did to the legless Browns, limiting them to 186 total yards.  They took away the running game, the passing game, special teams AND Brady Quinn’s job. Probably took Mangini’s job too.  Did you see the look on Derek Anderson’s face after his second pick?  I had the same look on my face but for completely different reasons.
This game was important for the Ravens and this was the first time we’ve played the new Cleveland Browns without a member of the old Cleveland Browns (Matt Stover) on our team.  Joe Flacco and the offense put their foot in Cleveland’s brown ass and never let up.  479 yards of total offense, the D picked up 4 INT’s, and did you see the two laterals?  No team in the NFL plays defense like the Baltimore Ravens.  And now we have an offense to go with it.  Joe Flacco is the real deal. Baltimore, we finally have our QB!
This Sunday, it’s up to Foxborough to face Belichick and the Pats. If you wanna rank among the elite, this is the dragon you need to slay.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
MY UNEDITED BLOG IS BELOW.
THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.

Since I’m a transplanted Ravens fan living in Los Angeles, there was no way I was missing this weekend’s game.  It was the home opener for the San Diego Chargers and Ray Lewis made sure the birds flew outta there with our second W of the young season.
This is my third Ravens vs. Chargers game in San Diego and each time I’ve headed down to tailgate.  This time was no different.  My crew was in it to win it!  Now, I’ve done my share of tailgating and San Diego…you need to step it up!  Flip flops and sushi??  That’s what you’re bringing to the table? Unacceptable.  Tailgating is all about claiming your spot on the asphalt and throwing down!  I’ve seen people steaming crabs in Baltimore, I’ve seen guys BBQ bison in Buffalo, hell, I’ve even seen a pregnant woman gut a deer in Pittsburgh!  But sushi?  That’s a damn shame.  And I LOVE sushi!  I’m a seafood guy.  I love fast women too…but I’m not bringing one to dinner at my grandma’s house.  Feel me?  What I’m saying is, there’s a time and a place for everything.
Check out some of the shots I got in San Diego.

WHERE’S THE BEEF?
On our fuckin grill. I told you we weren’t messin around. Guess what WASN’T on our menu?

CHEF WHAT?
Not sure what this “chef” was cooking up but I’m sure as hell not eating anything he makes. I overheard him say something about a “secret ingredient” and I gagged. Where’d he wash his hands after he was done?

QUALCRETE STADIUM
This thing reminds me of the Roman Coliseum. Only older and worse.

SWOLLED UP
LT was kickin it with us in the parking lot for a few. This is what his ankle looked like an hour before game time. Had to sit him.

VISION QUEST
I’m overlooking the fact that somewhere, a blind person is bumping into shit because a guy wants to make people laugh in a parking lot. Made me laugh.

TRAVIS TWITT
I can’t believe people still make the conscious decision to wear and maintain their hair like this. I gotta be honest, the whole mullet craze was a little too much. Got old REAL quick. But there was a point. I’m guessing this guy is a little slow on the uptake when it comes to a lot of phases in his life: cars, women, work, child support, the credit card payment for the tickets he just charged. Pretty sure I’m 5 for 5.

ROLL OUT
A cooler you can drive?? I love it! I almost cooler-jacked this fool and took off with his wheels. Seriously. I HAVE to get one of these. I’ll ride it everywhere.

HIDDEN REFRESHMENT
I’ve heard of a pup tent, but a pee tent? This is one of the greatest things I’ve ever seen at a game! This is proof of evolution! No more long lines for the spot-a-pot. This thing was awesome and I gave it a run for its money. Thanks to the Chargers fans who let me use their tent to relieve myself liquidly. And a special shout out to the poor son of a bitch who had to empty it.

Next up, Cleveland!

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger