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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
Let’s be honest, the Ravens’ shot at making the playoffs is slowly slipping away from them. Week after week, penalty after penalty (see Frank Walker) the feeling I get in my stomach isn’t a good one. I imagine it’s the same feeling the candidates running against Marion Barry had when they slowly saw their shot at being Mayor of D.C. slip away from them – and I’m talking about the election Barry won AFTER he got busted smoking crack.
Guess which hand I have the crack in?
This team should be 9-3. At worst, 8-4. But they aren’t. Shoulda, woulda, coulda. The Packers beat them up and down. Even after a terrible start, the Birds pulled within three points and then let the game slip away. They were out played, out coached and out classed (again, see Frank Walker).
There are a lot of problems with this Ravens team. With the exception of Derrick Mason, we have average receivers. We have a young offensive line that plays poorly at crucial times. A running game that was dominant last season has become one -dimensional. The D line is aging and our special teams unit is below average. And let’s not forget that we have the worst cornerbacks in the NFL. How in the hell did we get three on the field at the same time?
Bottom line? (Thank you Ray Lewis). We’re still in this – mathematically. Our chances of making the playoffs aren’t great but they’re better than Tiger Woods’ chances of not having multiple STD’s.
Bitches love them some Tiger!
Next up, Detroit.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
Some things in football are supposed to happen. The Lions are supposed to suck, the Patriots are supposed to lose when they don’t cheat and the Ravens are supposed to beat a Steelers team that was forced to replace its Super Bowl QB with a third stringer who has only thrown one pass in the NFL. Let’s not forget the Stillers were missing their Pro Bowl safety, Troy What’s His Nuts, too. But the Birds made the most of it and a win is a win.
Week after week the Ravens find a way to fuck with my blood pressure. Sunday’s game against the Steelers was no exception. The Ravens won a nail biter in OT but they should’ve beaten this hurting Steelers team by more than three points. Watching this game was like my last blind date; it wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t entertaining and it was full of bad decisions.
A face no mother could love. Nice molars, though.
Looking ahead, the Ravens are right where they need to be. That’s different than being where they want to be. The Ravens would like to be sitting atop the AFC North…but they’re not. I’d like to be sitting on a trust fund…but I’m not. As the saying goes, you dance with who you brung.
Quick note to Domonique Foxworth: Christmas is coming. Ask Santa for some new cleats and some cover skills. I’m tired of watching you fall down and get beat three to four times a game.
Next up, a Monday night matchup against the Packers in the frozen tundra.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
By now, you’ve all heard the story of Robert Irsay sneaking the Baltimore Colts out of town in Mayflower moving trucks. What you haven’t heard is my personal story and how that move affected me directly.
Robert Irsay. Dead and still hated in Baltimore
My dad used to take my brothers and me to the old Baltimore Colts training complex in Owings Mills, back when you could still attend practices and mingle with the players. One day I played catch with wide receiver, Raymond Butler. Wore #80.
Not to be confused with Raymond Berry
Raymond asked me if I’d like to be a ball boy the following season. I couldn’t believe it! Hell yes I wanted be a ball boy! My dad talked with some of the Colts staff and, next season, I was gonna be a ball boy for the Baltimore Colts! I was so fired up! My dad was fired up too because he knew it meant free tickets. We couldn’t wait! But next season never came.
It was a cold, snowy night on March 28, 1984. I was sleeping soundly next to my fraternal twin brother in our identical twin beds. My dad woke me out of my sleep. He had this look in his eye. I knew it was something serious. He said, “The Colts are gone.” Huh? “The Colts left. They’re gone. Snuck out of town. We don’t have a football team anymore. They’re headed for Indianapolis.” Wait. What?!?! Where?!?! I knew about Annapolis but I’d never heard of Indianapolis. I was so confused. Imagine if someone woke you out of your sleep tonight and told you that pizza was gone. It doesn’t exist anymore. You’d freak out! That’s how big this was to me.
By the time Baltimore got a new football team it was 1996. My dad had been dead for almost seven years. He didn’t live long enough to see football return to Baltimore. Anytime the Ravens play the Colts, the games always mean a little something more to me. When the Ravens won their Super Bowl it helped dull the pain but I can’t root for the Colts – even when the Ravens need them to win. It’s like rooting for your ex-wife to hit the lotto. Not gonna happen.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
Simply put, this was ugly. From the game to the barking fans, there was nothing pretty about this one.
The Browns name seems to fit now more than ever. They’re certainly leaving their “mark” all over the NFL this season. Week by week, city by city, they are stinking it up. I’ve seen better special-ed football teams. And the faith I had in Ravens kicker, Steve Hauschka is gone. Just like the faith I used to have that Whitney Houston would get her shit together.
I’m every woman…on crack
My sources tell me that Hauschka kicked his way off the Ravens last night and most likely out of the NFL. He missed another easy field goal and had an extra point blocked. I’m not gonna sit here and pity a kicker but the irony in the NFL is, well, ironic. Brady Quinn still has his job today after a miserable season. Derek Anderson still has his job after a miserable season. And, for some reason, Frank Walker still has his job after a miserable career. It doesn’t work that way for a kicker. You make em? You stay. You miss em? You’re giving back-alley hand jobs for a nickel.
Hauschka doesn’t have the mental toughness to kick out of this rut. He’s replacing one of the most accurate kickers in NFL history on a team that was a game away from the Super Bowl last year. Three points is huge in the NFL. Hell, three inches is huge in the NFL, which is the same thing I tell my girlfriend when we’re gettin busy but she ain’t buyin it. Just ask the Patriots what a difference a few inches makes after Belichick’s bonehead call cost them a game.
The one bright spot was Lardarius Webb. The dude was all over the field on defense and special teams. Ozzie may have found another gem. The verdict is still out on Lardarius and the Ravens and the next two weeks are gonna show us who this team really is.
Next up, Indianapolis. If Peyton Manning doesn’t rip our secondary apart, I have a weird feeling Matt Stover is gonna trot out on the field at the end of the game and attempt to do what he did for us all those years.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
I’ve been sick with the flu for a week now. Feel like I’ve been nailed to my bed. Not nailed in it but nailed to it – the difference between the two is HUGE. Just like the difference between a good Ravens football team and a lousy one.
Sunday, I scraped myself out of bed and made my way to the couch to watch the Birds. I wasn’t sure if I’d see the dominating team that beat the Broncos or the team that lost to the Bengals earlier in the season. I got my answer. The Ravens played like I felt. Like absolute dog shit. From week to week, I have no idea which team is going to take the field. The Ravens are still holding on – and I don’t mean holding on to a shot at the playoffs – I mean holding on to the jerseys of every player that runs right past them. And this time it wasn’t just the defense. The offense had their share of problems too. But the DB’s on this team are some of the worst I’ve ever seen play for the Ravens.
*Note to any NFL quarterback: if you wanna move the ball down the field on Baltimore, just put it in the air. You probably won’t get a touchdown that way, but you’ll get a slew of pass interference penalties that will set you up nicely inside the red zone. Then, you’ll get the TD.
After the game, I went out on my balcony for some sun and fresh air and a little bird landed next to me. We got to talkin. He told me things were kinda rough in his life right now, not to mention winter is coming. He just lost a close friend in a freak accident. Said he was headed to FLA to chill and relax and think about things for a little while. Then he flew away. Just like that. His friend’s name? Playoffs.
Run down, run over and run into the ground
This season isn’t totally over but winning the AFC North is. There’s a lot of football left to play and the Ravens can turn things around. They need to get a grip on themselves and not every player on the opposing team.
Next up, Cleveland. I know you think this is an easy one. Guess again…
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
CLICK HERE FOR MY OFFICIAL NFL RAVENS BLOG
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THE NFL HAS AN IMAGE TO UPHOLD. SO DO I.
The Birds got a big win against the Broncos on Sunday and everything is back to normal. Quick note: Frank Walker was on the bench. Coincidence? No way. (See my WEEK 6 BLOG for further details)
The offense looked great. Joe Flacco was nearly flawless and Ray Rice is proving to be unstoppable. The D was back to doing what it does, limiting the Broncos to 200 total yards. And the Special Teams finally showed up. Hauschka bounced back with three FG’s and a big congrats to Lardarius Webb for his 95-yard kick return for a TD. The Ravens were hitting on all cylinders.
Throughout the bye week I heard a lot of the media say that the Ravens were only 3 plays away from being 6-0 and that the Broncos were soft. Guess what? Shoulda, woulda, coulda. I’m only three payments away from being six months behind on my credit cards or else I’d have good credit. And my grandmother is soft. Soft as they come. But she can still bring the wood. Has moves like Jimmy Snuka. I’m just sayin, it wouldn’t be odd to see her try this shit off her kitchen table.
Superfly
We’re 4-3. The good news is that we know the Ravens are capable of beating anyone in the league. The only way to prove it? Buckle down, kick some ass and make the playoffs!
It starts next week with a huge division game against the Bengals. See ya’s in Cincy.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger
