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This was the biggest game of the season. I was worried that the Ravens I didn’t want to show up might show up. They showed up. I get the same feeling when I know my paranoid schizophrenic cousin might show up to important family events like weddings, funerals and court. When he’s on his meds, he’s ok. When he’s not, his day usually ends the same way the Ravens ended their season – with an ass-whoopin. The Ravens scored three points, had four turnovers and committed seven penalties for 64 yards. I’ve seen old ladies put up better numbers playing ping pong. When Ed Reed and Ray Rice are fumbling, you know it’s gonna be a long day.

Grandma ain’t scared!

Simply put, the Colts were better than the Ravens Saturday night. They played smarter and faster and took away the running game. What else can you say about Peyton Manning that hasn’t already been said? The guy is phenomenal and he has our number. Peyton says it’s not easy playing against the Ravens but he makes it look like he’s throwing against fans that were just pulled out of their seats.

Does this dude own a mirror?

After the pain fades remember this, Joe Flacco is only a second year quarterback. Getting to the AFC Championship game in his first season and the AFC Divisional game in his second season is incredible. Let’s not forget we have a second year head coach and a second year running back. The offensive line is young and talented and the defense is among the elite every year. A play-making wide receiver here, a shutdown corner there…smells like the makings of a dynasty to me.

Next up…a long off-season. Eddie Reed – don’t retire. Give us a few more years.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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Joe Flacco completed four out of ten passes for 34 yards and the Ravens turned the ball over twice. You can’t win playoff games with stats like that especially against the Patriots in Foxboro. But the Ravens did and they did it with a punishing running game and a nasty defense. It was total domination. It’s clear to me that the Patriots are a different team when they’re not cheating.

On the first play from scrimmage, Ray Rice broke loose for an 83-yard touchdown run that set the tone for the game. By the end of the first quarter it was 24-0. The Ravens kept their foot on the Patriots throats and never let up. They played fast and physical on both sides of the ball. The running game was unstoppable with Rice, McGahee and McClain combining for 27 points on 52 attempts. The defense was relentless forcing Tom Brady into four turnovers and the offense capitalized scoring 20 points off those mistakes.

I have to give credit where credit is due; Frank Walker – you played a very solid, physical game. Let’s be frank, Frank – until today’s game, you’ve been paid to do card tricks on the team plane.

Hey Ray, pick a card.

Most importantly Frank and the team played smart, committing only three penalties for 15 yards. It’s good to have Ed Reed back doing what Ed does. And how about Ray Lewis? In his words, “You can’t hurt this! I’m a machine, jerk!” He is a machine. The guy is absolutely phenomenal. Ray led the team with 13 tackles and had a huge sack on Brady.

The Ravens know what lies ahead of them and so do the fans. This is the postseason – one bad game and it’s over. In the words of Apollo Creed, “There is no tomorrow!”

Any fighter wearing this outfit deserves to die in the ring.

Next up, our old team. If the same Ravens show up in Indy it could be a long day for Peyton Manning and the Colts. If not, it could be a long offseason.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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The Good, The Bad, The Ugly and the Consistent.  Where do I start with this Baltimore Ravens team?  Let’s get the Consistent out of the way now.  Frank Walker – penalty in the 1st quarter.  I gotta give it to you, Frank.  You are consistently terrible.  They say no one person can cost a team the playoffs.  Whoever said that never saw you play.  Why don’t you go work for the State?  You can hold the STOP/SLOW sign at road construction sites.  You seem to excel at holding things.

Frank Walker would make the Pro Bowl of holding

Let’s take care of the Ugly next.  Jamarcus Russell – you should be ashamed of your diamond earrings.  There are more dollars in your ears than Cambodia.  It’s absurd.  You should be fined 25% of their cost because you’ve done absolutely nothing to earn the money you used to pay for them…except help us get to the playoffs.  Thank you but I’m still adding you to my growing Dash of Downs list.

That diamond looks great on you in this economy

On to the Bad.  Hiram Eugene – Willis McGahee bitch-slapped you for six.  It wasn’t a stiff arm, it wasn’t a shove.  It was an old-school, Ike Turner bitch-slap for a touchdown.  You stood in the way of the playoffs Hiram and the Ravens were going to the playoffs.  It had to be you, Hiram.  It had to be you.


Accessorizing was always a strong point for Ike

Which leads me to the Good and right back to Willis McGahee.  I think McGahee’s a beast.  The dude has 14 touchdowns this year and had one called back last week against Pittsburgh.  He ran hard against Oakland and looked fresh.  He has all the touchdowns and none of the beating which is nice to see after he ended last season on a stretcher.  I’d love for him stay in Baltimore but I think he’s gonna get a bigger payday somewhere else.  Maybe New England.  Todd Heap – great catch.  Caught it, lost it and caught it again.  Falling backwards.  Great concentration.  Cam Cameron – loved the play calling out of our endzone.  Flacco to Heap and McGahee to the endzone.  Two plays, 95 yards.  The Ravens are back in the playoffs.  A new season begins.

Next up, the Patriots.  Welker’s gone and Brady’s beat up.  Do what you gotta do Tom just don’t throw it anywhere near #41.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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11 penalties for 113 yards, two touchdowns called back and Derrick Mason dropped an easy one in the endzone. The Ravens cost themselves 21 points, the game and possibly the playoffs. Keep this in mind – the Steelers rushed for a total of 48 yards. The Ravens’ penalties more than doubled that. You’re welcome Pittsburgh.
The Ravens are by far the most undisciplined team in the league and it’s always the same guys committing the same dumb penalties. Frank Walker waited until the last play to get flagged or we might have been able to score again. Frank Walker isn’t the only guy to blame in this game (see Suggs, Washington and Mason) but week after week I write about Walker doing something stupid. Why is he still on the team? We could play better with 10 guys. Frank Walker reminds me of a former undisciplined Baltimore athlete – Alan Wiggins. Remember when Alan played for the Baltimore Orioles? Alan Wiggins was so undisciplined that he was picked off with the “hidden ball trick” – twice in the same season!

Cocaine makes me focus. RIP, Alan.

John Harbaugh needs to quit preaching about “Mighty Men”. How about disciplined men? How about guys that don’t block in the back or hold or take cheap shots out of bounds that cost the team points, games and possibly the playoffs? The truth is the Ravens are a good team but the difference between good and great is leadership, focus and discipline and the Ravens have none of it. They better get it together or their season is over on Sunday.

Next up, the Raiders. They say if we win, we’re in but it won’t be easy. Here we go again…again.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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Crime is nothing new to Baltimore and the Ravens should’ve been arrested for the beating they gave the Bears on Sunday.  Joe Flacco threw a career high four TD’s to three different receivers.  It was nice to see Todd Heap snag a couple without spraining something.  Demetrius Williams decided to show up and he played well.  If he can keep it up, this offense could become a real threat.  And Derrick Mason just keeps on doing what he does although his Michael Jackson dance is probably the worst end zone celebration in the NFL.  That said, Mason could do the Rerun for all I care as long as he keeps scoring.

Was Rerun French?

The defense looked rock solid, forcing six turnovers.  The offense actually capitalized by scoring TD’s instead of field goals.  That’s what separates good teams from great teams.  Injuries continue to take their toll on the Ravens and another big one has been added to the list.  Rookie corner, Lardarius Webb, is out for the season with a torn ACL.  It couldn’t come at a worse time.  Webb and Domonique Foxworth have been playing great.  At this point, we’re left with Chris Carr and Frank Walker.  That’s like Vance & Coy Duke replacing Bo & Luke Duke.  There’s no comparison and ultimately it could ruin everything.

Turkey ham is no substitute for real ham.

Frank Walker is one of the most undisciplined players in the league.  He makes bonehead mistakes week after week.  However, I have to give credit where credit is due – Frank did intercept a Jay Cutler pass…and then threw the ball and was flagged for a delay of game penalty (I’m taking the credit back now).  What in the hell is wrong with you Frank?  You haven’t had a problem holding on to things all season – jerseys, grudges, the past – you couldn’t hold on to the ball?  That’s the kind of stupid penalty that costs your team in the playoffs.

And then there’s the Special Teams.  They looked special…again.  Bad snaps, missed field goals, poor coverage and giving up points lose playoff games.  Isn’t it ironic that when a position coach becomes a head coach, his strength becomes his weakness?

Next up, the Steelers. This one is gonna be brutal.  Every season it seems like this game is a must win for a spot in the playoffs.  Here we go again…

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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On a rainy Sunday afternoon in Baltimore, the Ravens did what they had to do.  They beat the Detroit Lions.  At this point, beating the Lions is like arm wrestling your grandmother.  You’re supposed to win. And if Grandma has the balls to step up to the table, you beat her down.  No mercy.

Strike first, strike hard, no mercy.

This was a must win for the Ravens who are in a logjam for one of the two wild card spots.  After the game I had a positive feeling and a warm sensation came over me.  I’ve had that feeling before – in a wave pool at the water park.  I hope the outcome isn’t the same.

Who had asparagus??

Three games remain.  If the Ravens want a ticket to the dance they’re gonna have to win out.  We’ll find out who this team is and what they’re all about over the next few weeks.  The Ravens have shown that they can compete with the best in the game.  The question is will they give themselves a chance to prove that they can beat the best in the game?

It starts on Sunday with another must win against Da Bears.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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Let’s be honest, the Ravens’ shot at making the playoffs is slowly slipping away from them.    Week after week, penalty after penalty (see Frank Walker) the feeling I get in my stomach isn’t a good one.  I imagine it’s the same feeling the candidates running against Marion Barry had when they slowly saw their shot at being Mayor of D.C. slip away from them – and I’m talking about the election Barry won AFTER he got busted smoking crack.

Guess which hand I have the crack in?

This team should be 9-3.  At worst, 8-4.  But they aren’t.  Shoulda, woulda, coulda.  The Packers beat them up and down.  Even after a terrible start, the Birds pulled within three points and then let the game slip away.  They were out played, out coached and out classed (again, see Frank Walker).
There are a lot of problems with this Ravens team.  With the exception of Derrick Mason, we have average receivers.  We have a young offensive line that plays poorly at crucial times.  A running game that was dominant last season has become one -dimensional.  The D line is aging and our special teams unit is below average.  And let’s not forget that we have the worst cornerbacks in the NFL.  How in the hell did we get three on the field at the same time?
Bottom line? (Thank you Ray Lewis).  We’re still in this – mathematically.   Our chances of making the playoffs aren’t great but they’re better than Tiger Woods’ chances of not having multiple STD’s.

Bitches love them some Tiger!

Next up, Detroit.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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Some things in football are supposed to happen.  The Lions are supposed to suck, the Patriots are supposed to lose when they don’t cheat and the Ravens are supposed to beat a Steelers team that was forced to replace its Super Bowl QB with a third stringer who has only thrown one pass in the NFL.  Let’s not forget the Stillers were missing their Pro Bowl safety, Troy What’s His Nuts, too.  But the Birds made the most of it and a win is a win.
Week after week the Ravens find a way to fuck with my blood pressure. Sunday’s game against the Steelers was no exception. The Ravens won a nail biter in OT but they should’ve beaten this hurting Steelers team by more than three points.  Watching this game was like my last blind date; it wasn’t pretty, it wasn’t entertaining and it was full of bad decisions.

A face no mother could love.  Nice molars, though.

Looking ahead, the Ravens are right where they need to be.  That’s different than being where they want to be.  The Ravens would like to be sitting atop the AFC North…but they’re not.  I’d like to be sitting on a trust fund…but I’m not.  As the saying goes, you dance with who you brung.
Quick note to Domonique Foxworth: Christmas is coming.  Ask Santa for some new cleats and some cover skills.  I’m tired of watching you fall down and get beat three to four times a game.
Next up, a Monday night matchup against the Packers in the frozen tundra.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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By now, you’ve all heard the story of Robert Irsay sneaking the Baltimore Colts out of town in Mayflower moving trucks. What you haven’t heard is my personal story and how that move affected me directly.

Robert Irsay. Dead and still hated in Baltimore

My dad used to take my brothers and me to the old Baltimore Colts training complex in Owings Mills, back when you could still attend practices and mingle with the players.  One day I played catch with wide receiver, Raymond Butler.  Wore #80.

Not to be confused with Raymond Berry

Raymond asked me if I’d like to be a ball boy the following season.  I couldn’t believe it!  Hell yes I wanted be a ball boy!  My dad talked with some of the Colts staff and, next season, I was gonna be a ball boy for the Baltimore Colts!  I was so fired up!  My dad was fired up too because he knew it meant free tickets.  We couldn’t wait!  But next season never came.
It was a cold, snowy night on March 28, 1984.  I was sleeping soundly next to my fraternal twin brother in our identical twin beds.  My dad woke me out of my sleep.  He had this look in his eye.  I knew it was something serious.  He said, “The Colts are gone.”  Huh?  “The Colts left.  They’re gone.  Snuck out of town.  We don’t have a football team anymore. They’re headed for Indianapolis.”  Wait.  What?!?!  Where?!?!  I knew about Annapolis but I’d never heard of Indianapolis.  I was so confused.  Imagine if someone woke you out of your sleep tonight and told you that pizza was gone.  It doesn’t exist anymore.  You’d freak out!  That’s how big this was to me.
By the time Baltimore got a new football team it was 1996.  My dad had been dead for almost seven years.  He didn’t live long enough to see football return to Baltimore.  Anytime the Ravens play the Colts, the games always mean a little something more to me.  When the Ravens won their Super Bowl it helped dull the pain but I can’t root for the Colts – even when the Ravens need them to win.  It’s like rooting for your ex-wife to hit the lotto.  Not gonna happen.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger

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Simply put, this was ugly.  From the game to the barking fans, there was nothing pretty about this one.
The Browns name seems to fit now more than ever.  They’re certainly leaving their “mark” all over the NFL this season.  Week by week, city by city, they are stinking it up.  I’ve seen better special-ed football teams.  And the faith I had in Ravens kicker, Steve Hauschka is gone.  Just like the faith I used to have that Whitney Houston would get her shit together.

I’m every woman…on crack

My sources tell me that Hauschka kicked his way off the Ravens last night and most likely out of the NFL.  He missed another easy field goal and had an extra point blocked.  I’m not gonna sit here and pity a kicker but the irony in the NFL is, well, ironic.  Brady Quinn still has his job today after a miserable season.  Derek Anderson still has his job after a miserable season.  And, for some reason, Frank Walker still has his job after a miserable career. It doesn’t work that way for a kicker.  You make em?  You stay.  You miss em?  You’re giving back-alley hand jobs for a nickel.
Hauschka doesn’t have the mental toughness to kick out of this rut.  He’s replacing one of the most accurate kickers in NFL history on a team that was a game away from the Super Bowl last year.  Three points is huge in the NFL.  Hell, three inches is huge in the NFL, which is the same thing I tell my girlfriend when we’re gettin busy but she ain’t buyin it.  Just ask the Patriots what a difference a few inches makes after Belichick’s bonehead call cost them a game.
The one bright spot was Lardarius Webb.  The dude was all over the field on defense and special teams.  Ozzie may have found another gem.  The verdict is still out on Lardarius and the Ravens and the next two weeks are gonna show us who this team really is.
Next up, Indianapolis.  If Peyton Manning doesn’t rip our secondary apart, I have a weird feeling Matt Stover is gonna trot out on the field at the end of the game and attempt to do what he did for us all those years.

Kuh Kaw!

- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger