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Why I Hate The Bengals
Let’s just get to it. We have to play the Bengals twice a season. They’re in the AFC North. Nothing we can do about it. The NFL set it up. We go to their place once and they come to our house once. But it’s not like playing the Stillers or the Browns. Win or lose it never seems to be eventful. It’s just something necessary that has to happen.
Playing the Bengals twice a year is like when you were a kid and you had to see that one aunt who you couldn’t stand…twice a year. You really didn’t want to see her. It was never eventful. But you had to. Your parents set it up. “She’s family.” Then they hit you with the sales pitch. “She has a pool.” It’s an above ground pool. And it’s October now. When we head to her place, it’ll be November. At that point it’s freezing and there’s enough shit in her pool to kill Lochness.
It’s always the same ol with her. She never seems to better herself. Then your parents tell you, “She just bought a new Cadillac!” And you think, “Ok. Maybe she’s finally steppin it up.” When you get to her place, what’s sitting in her gravel driveway? An 86 Eldorado. Covered in rust. New? My ass. New to HER!
That aunt is just like the Bengals. Can’t keep a good man – even when she has a bad year and she’s still lucky enough to land one. And when she gets one? She doesn’t know how to treat em. They don’t wanna stay. They’re never happy. And most of em have rap sheets a mile long.
The Ravens are gonna handle the Bengals the same way you’d handle your aunt; make short work of em and send em back to Cincy in that 86 Eldorado.
Kuh Kaw!
- Ryan Sickler, Ravens Blogger







